Tag Archives: prayer

Creating Our Reality?

I have found it more than a little annoying when people would say, “we create our own reality.” When my daughter was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago, this expression became especially insulting and hurtful. Who, in or out of their right mind, would create a major illness for themselves? And how can people heal if they are busy blaming themselves for inflicting this self-harm.

But my understanding of the grain of truth in this expression is “evolving” to borrow the verb President Obama used for himself recently. In looking through the lens of quantum physics, energy responses to mindful attention. Waves become particles and particles become waves related to their being observed. So as the observer, we can and do affect the world around us, and the outcome of events. Most people have noticed that what we pay attention to grows or expands. But we also know wishing and praying doesn’t always make something become a reality.

An articulate description of quantum physics and the mind/body/universe connection is in Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Joe Dispenza. It seems the key to creating our own reality is in having an alignment between our thoughts, which are the language of the brain, and our feelings, which are the language of the body. When they are not in alignment, (we want wealth but we feel poor) the messages we are sending into the quantum field are incoherent and mixed.

The quantum field is an invisible intelligence, a field of  infinite possibilities, a universal intelligence. As Dispenza states it, “our mission is to move into a state of consciousness that allows us to connect with this intelligence and see the results that we want in our lives.”

An important aspect of this process of what I would call, co-creating our reality is that outcomes must surprise us.  We don’t control how our prayers are answered and if we can predict how an outcome will occur, we are in the world of classical Newtonian physics, the world of cause and effect, which continues to operate alongside the quantum one. When we can hold a clear intention of what we want, leave the “how” details to the unpredictable quantum field, and enlist others to join our intentions, the one thing that is predicable are the surprises that will unfold.

Sacred Sleeplessness

“How’d you sleep?” was a common morning greeting in our family. My father’s regular reply – “It was good, what there was of it.”  Now, in recent years, sleep cycle researchers have taught us a lot about the importance of those hours we spend in bed.  Sleep is a required activity, necessary for survival and for healthy functioning in the other two thirds of our lives.


Most of the time we take for granted the ability to go to sleep easily and to sleep uninterruptedly through the night. But once an illness or injury interferes with our getting comfortable enough to go to sleep, we long for that simpler time. When faced with a crisis in my own life or that of a loved one, my worry button gets ignited, leaving me lying in bed for hours awaiting a visit from the sandman.

So what to do to deal with that time when sleep won’t come? My husband goes downstairs to his computer to finish a project or to the television to distract him, and hopefully one or both of these activities leaves him feeling sleepy enough to go back to bed. His mother would visit a special recliner in the middle of the night and fall asleep there more easily than in her own bed.  One of my sisters, after many surgeries and health challenges, gave up entirely on sleeping in a bed. She starts and finishes the night in her favorite recliner.

For me, I try to stay the course and see if I can make good use of the quiet down time. I read somewhere that prayer is talking to God or your Higher Power and meditation is listening to the answers.  As to the talking part, I try to switch my focus from worrying to what I want to have happen in the world. And, since I know the answer to some prayers is “no,” I include a request for strength to accept whatever happens.

For the mediation part, I use a method that focuses on my breath, which I know to be relaxing, whether or not it brings sleep. I learned this method from Ian Jackson, a yoga teacher and trainer for the U. S. Olympic Bicycling Team. It begins by creating an active exhale, (which is wired to the relaxation response), followed by a passive inhale, (which is wired to the arousal response). After falling asleep, I sometimes awake with what seems an answer to my concerns.

During the years when my daughter Corinne was dealing with breast cancer and the effects of her treatments working or not working, she came up with a unique strategy for dealing with sleeplessness. Concerned that her illness was making her too self-centered, she asked friends who were praying for her to send their pictures, and let her know their prayers for themselves. Then she constructed a prayer wall by her bed so that her middle of the night prayers could be for them.