My phone’s text messaging function has never been so busy. Some messages start with an apology– “I know we text you a LOT, but we wouldn’t if it wasn’t SO important.” The tone of others sound like the sky is falling–“the fate of our senate majority rests in PA” or” FL” or “MA,” or “AZ” or “?” Some are downright insulting, “ARE YOU IGNORING US?” “Do you NOT CARE?”
I get it. This election matters to the future of our country. We could lose our democracy. The world my grandchildren grow up could be very different than the one I grew up in. I’ve sent money in, especially, as I do with other fund-raising campaigns, when there is a match that makes my small donation go further. But this barrage of pleading, and fear-inducing communication is counterproductive.
Whenever we are looking ahead to a potentially significant loss that seems likely, respectful reassurance is important. Not sure about you, but I still have Post-Traumatic Stress from coming so close to seeing my country elect a woman president in my lifetime. We don’t often recognize these Big Body communal losses as grief, needing the same communal support as smaller, more personal ones. But because we don’t, we often fail to treat one another with the dignity and respect that experiencing significant loss deserves.
Anticipatory grief can be helpful if it motivates people to do what they can to lessen the likelihood of the loss, which I guess is the idea here. Realizing the likelihood of impending loss could give people time to prepare for it and learn some coping skills. But without reassurance or appreciation for our efforts, it runs the risk of stimulating a “run and hide” response, like “We could always move to Canada,” or “I heard someone say, ‘Portugal is a nice place for expats.’”
We’re not at an immediate risk to lose a limb. We’re not in danger of being diagnosed with a death-defying disease. But climate change is real, and voting has real consequences that impact real people. Most people, no matter what side they are on, in our two-party system, have the potential in this election to lose freedoms they hold dear. I hope this motivates people to vote because, as one of the founding members of the field of Social Work, Jane Addams put it, “The cure for the ills of democracy is more democracy.” I’m thinking in the next couple of weeks, the fund-raising texts, (and the political ads for that matter) should instruct us all to “Keep breathing!” We can then text back, “Let’s all take a deep breath together.”
