When people ask how I’m doing my husband says, with a lot of enthusiasm in his voice, “She’s doing great!” I try not to contradict him in front of our friends but the truth is, from the inside of this body it doesn’t feel like I’m doing that well. During my daily physical therapy exercises I come close to tears and when I’m finished I’m completely exhausted. If I can manage the time, I take what can turn out to be a two- hour nap, lying as still as if somebody hit me over the head with a mallet.
I often teased that Zumba was my anti-depressant. Now that it seems such a struggle to maintain my emotional equilibrium without it, I have to admit there’s more than a bit of truth in that statement. When I look around the physical therapy clinic at the other people doing exercises, it doesn’t seem anyone else is having the emotion tenderness that I’m experiencing. When I told my husband that a tear ran down my cheeks during my session one day he said, “That’s the disadvantage of being in your body. A lot of people aren’t in theirs.“
His comment reminded me of when I used to do dance workshops in California with Anna Halprin. I would often be brought to tears as I did her morning movement rituals. She would say encouraging words like, “That’s wonderful. Tears often accompany the body when it releases.” After a couple of days I asked her, “How come nobody else is having this tearful releasing?” She said, “They will. And sure enough, in a few more days many of the other students began experiencing tears as their bodies released.
When one of the physical therapists heard that I had been a professional dancer he made the comment – “Your feet don’t look too bad for a dancer.” I told him it was somewhat surprising that this was my first broken bone and first dance injury since opening night of a show in San Francisco in 1960. He’d worked with many dancers and athletes and found it unusual that I’d never had an injury requiring physical therapy throughout all these years.
Our conversation got me thinking about how have I been so lucky? One thing that might have helped is that the types of dancing I’ve done have varied greatly. Rather than just specializing in just one type, which sets the body up for repetitive overuse injuries. The second thing that has contributed to my good luck in my dedication to many forms of bodywork and psychophysical education – Alexander, www.alexandertechnique.com Feldenkrais, www.feldenkrais.com Tai Chi, www.medicinenet.com Rubenfeld Synergy Method www.rubenfeldsynergy.com Pilates, www.pilatesmethodalliance.org These systems of physical self-care have reeducated and strengthened my body and rescued me from the bad habits that tend to develop, as people age. I’m grateful for these gifts from my younger self to the person I am now.
