Grandsons Ethan and Will were probably 9 and 6 when I watched their mother interrupt a fight they were having. She had clearly done this before, and I saw that she had some skill in getting the boys to look at the situation from the other person’s point of view. After some discussion she instructed them to each apologize to one another. Ethan, as the eldest went first, “I’m sorry,” he said. Will came back quickly and quite strongly with, “Oh, no you’re not. You’re just over there singing to yourself.” Though I stayed to my role as fair witness, it was hard not to laugh and somewhat agree with Will because I knew that, as a musically inclined child, he did sing to himself often. I’d always wondered if that’s how he kept himself in such an even tempered and positive emotional place.
Participating in the Global Healers Summit a few weeks ago, I met Gary Malkin, the Emmy award-winning composer and musician who was able to answer some of my questions about how music can provide us with catharsis, solace, connection, and sometimes feel-good healing. “We’re vibratory beings,” Gary said. To demonstrate he showed a 30 second video of chaotic city life with a music soundtrack that matched the rhythm and tone of the clattering trains, taxicab traffic, and helter-skelter patterns of pedestrians dodging one another on the sidewalks of New York City. Next, he replayed the video, but changed entirely our experience of it by replacing the soundtrack with an orchestral version of PacBell’s Cannon. Our eyes still brought us chaos, but the soothing music kept our bodies calm and collected.
Maybe we all have an inner playlist of music and songs to call on when we need them. Though I don’t fully understand the process I have experienced it. One of the most dramatic times was when I was at a Gestalt Therapy retreat in the Colorado high desert with therapist/author, Barry Stevens. Before going, I had read her book, “Don’t Push the River, It Flows by itself,” and I knew that that was a skill I needed to acquire. There was a moment in our work together when I was wrestling with the decision of whether to end my 12-year marriage. Barry guided me into a place of listening – to the silence of the desert, the chirp of a bird, the sound of my own breathing, and I heard music and the words, “Mother Mary said to me, there will be an answer, let it be, let it be. There will be an answer, let it be.” I recognized it as a wise suggestion, and the original source, as a couple of lines from a Beetle’s song.
For Malkin, “Music is the universal language of human emotion and a tool to bring us into presence.” When we are fully present, all that we know becomes available to us. But Gary thinks too many people have trouble doing that because they suffer from what he calls Awareness Fragmental Disorder. Much of his work is multi-sensory – restoring balance between the intelligences of body, heart, mind, and soul. I was familiar with his early work with Michael Stillwater, Graceful Passages, and its soundtrack that provides ease to the dying process. A newer work, “Care for the Journey,” alleviates stress for healthcare providers. One of his musical collaborators, Michael Stillwater, explains how music and other arts help us heal. “Expressing an idea through the arts empowers and humanizes it, allowing it to more easily touch people through the heart. Once we connect with someone through the heart, even the most challenging obstacles can melt away.”
https://www.wisdomoftheworld.com/offerings/graceful-passages/
