I woke up a couple of days ago with a swollen itchy left upper arm and determined it must have happened from a spider bite during the night. Since this was the second such incident in a week, (the first was a red itchy spot on the back of my neck) it was clear –in order to take care of myself going forward, a radical cleaning project for the bedroom needed to happen immediately. Never mind what we had planned for our morning, my “Mr. Clean” husband and I began a flurry of activity; stripping linens, (never mind we’d just washed them), shaking out pillows, vacuuming behind and under the bed and dresser. We gathered momentum as we went on our search and seizure mission; wiping baseboards, dusting lamp shades and bookshelves, and spraying what we hoped would be anti- spider cleaner on and around all the furniture in the room. When we finished I thought, it takes a lot of effort to take care of myself, even while staying at home.
Self-Care is not always what we think of when we see or hear the words. The list of what we need changes according to the situations we find ourselves in. When we traveled about the city and the country freely and frequently, a quiet hour or two at home alone was a gift of self-care. In these shelter-at-home times, self-care may mean extra efforts to clean our spaces to avoid getting sick, learning new ways to reach out for connection, or doing familiar things in unfamiliar ways. The other day the stressful feelings in my body turned to joy when I got the idea of hosting an on-line dinner party for my best friend for her birthday. I’ve never done it before so I’m not expecting everything to go perfectly but, for me, learning new things is one of the best forms of self-care. Fortunately, in this stressful time, we may run out of butter or beans, but we’re not gonna run out of things to learn.
My co-author, Christine and I wrote a book on self-care for caregivers (which turns out to be most of us) and we’re now offering on-line sessions on the topic to provide inspiration, encouragement and mutual support. At our last session, members shared creative actions they are taking for self-care in the chat box:
- finish creating order in my condo
- throughout the day, taking deep breaths for a few second meditation
- play my instruments
- read something related to my spiritual practice
- upon awakening, do my somatic stretch “Cat series”
- writing notes on my fancy stationery to loved ones likely to be lonely
The spider showed up a few days later high on a wall in our bathroom. As I looked up at him, swinging just high enough to avoid my reach, I remembered that I like spiders. Someone told me years ago they bring good luck. I appreciate their artistic skills and usually go to some effort to avoid messing up their intricately constructed webs. Meditating for a moment on how important it is for all creatures to live in balance on the earth, I attempted a cross-species communication. I can’t let your actions to take care of yourself interfere with my actions to take care of me.
What are doing for your own self-care while sheltering in place?
Sheila
If you are in need of a trustworthy advisor to consult with about your own self-care in these tough times, send me an email and we can schedule a discovery session. Sheilakcollins@gmail.com
