I arrived home last night from my job as a poll watcher about 9 pm. I warmed up some soup and checked the television news for early returns as the polls were closing across the country. Checking into my own body, I realized I had “left it all on the field,” as the sports athletes say, after weeks of door-to-door canvasing and nightly phone banking and I went to bed. I was surprised seeing the sorrow on my husband’s face when I awoke at 8 am since I was not expecting any definitive election results to be available this early. In 2019 it took 6 days for enough of the votes to get tallied to declare a winner, and my county in PA, along with my friend Christine’s in GA were the ones that determined that Joe Biden and Kamala Harris were going to the White House.
Rather than checking the news reports I attended to the text stream of my women’s spirituality group which included this encouragement from our teacher and leader Glenda Taylor “I have no shallow words to say, but I do send calm certainty, ‘Love endures and is never defeated.”
Next in the stream my friend Christine asks, “Who are we in this moment? When our hearts are broken, and cynicism is sneaking in to help us side-eye our neighbors.”
I’m reminded of the people whose front porches I have stood on throughout the Pittsburgh region and of the essential similarities I found. No matter the size and quality of the home, or the amount of land surrounding it, or the idyllic peaceful scene of the neighborhood most everyone is afraid of their neighbors. Many are afraid of family members. Most wouldn’t put up yard signs supporting candidates, and some expressed concerns for my safety as I traveled in their neighborhood. “You be careful now.”
Christine continues, “Who do I want to be in this moment? Yes, there is a part of me that wants to curl up in a ball under the covers…but a bigger part that gazes out through my tears and feels the resolve in my heart that there is more goodness in the world–let me look to find it and work towards it. I want to be the light that shies hope in a dark situation.”
During my day long stint as a poll watcher, I was able to observe that goodness and light in a dark situation. First off, I ran into a musician friend, Mimi Jong, who was participating in a project called Play for the Vote. “What are you doing here?” she greeted me cheerfully. “You don’t live in this neighborhood. “Though it wasn’t my neighborhood, I, along with the poll workers and people who came to vote, as we moved in and out of the building were serenaded by the calming tones of the musical collaboration between Mimi’s Chinese erhu and her colleagues’ robust accordion. I received another gift in the opportunity to get to know an experienced woman poll worker who had worked these polls for over twenty years. I noticed nearly everyone, both young and old, who entered the auditorium space stopped to give her a hug before or after placing their votes. Turns out she had been a crossing guard in the neighborhood for over twenty years, a job she had dearly loved, and she was still, years later beloved by all.
Back to the text stream–Jean expressed her “need simply to mourn. Deeply. Mourn for that which has claimed power and mourn for that which has lost and will surely suffer. Yes, I will rise up and fight…but I need space and time to grieve as well.”
For me, this is the time to mourn- to listen to the wisdom of my own body, to rest, and dance, and wail and moan–to express whatever sound is there. This reality is unprocessed–we do not know what this loss will teach us and what it will ask of us. I am sustained by the knowledge that I will be in our women’s circle in person soon.
The doorbell rings and I experience another action to take when the answer to our prayers is, for this time at least – a firm no. My colleague and dancing social worker friend Lynn is here to present me with a bouquet of flowers. It is an expression of her gratitude for what I have been doing on behalf of the citizens of the Pittsburgh region. She discovered that acts of kindness make her feel better as she helps someone else feel better. What a delightful surprise in this dark day. This takes me back to Glenda’s message–“Love endures and is never defeated”. And a message that emerged from the 10.27.2018 massacre at the Tree of Life Synagogue that has been ringing true since then –“Love is stronger than hate,” and so, too, we together are.
Here’s an article by Daniel Hunter, recommended by my mentor and colleague Cynthia Winton-Henry. https://wagingnonviolence.org/2024/11/10-things-to-do-if-trump-wins/
I also recommend online programs on the Reimagine platform, especially on communal grieving – https://letsreimagine.org/experiences/upcoming-events
