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On the 8th day of the worldwide COVID19 Pandemic, as I wait for a scheduled conference call with my financial advisor, I’m trying to imagine what he could possibly say that could be of comfort, given the decimation of the entire worldwide economy. It’s no wonder that finance people call what we are presently experiencing a “Black Swan” event.
Our current situation checks all the boxes for such events in that it is extremely rare, was unexpected, unknowable beforehand, and it’s carrying widespread catastrophic consequences.
Whatever else we call it, whatever different lenses we use to look at it with, we are definitely in uncharted territory. We must rely on the scientific experts who are comparing this event to some similar ones – SARS, Eboli, various flus, and to the patterns that have been happening in the countries where the virus spread took place ahead of our own. Even our language gets us in trouble.
When I hear the recommendation for “social isolation” as a protection from the virus, I want to correct the speaker. Looking through my social worker lenses I become my father and talk back out loud to the TV. “Social connection is necessary for human beings to remain healthy.”
Be specific.
What you mean to recommend is physical isolation, avoiding shaking hands
and hugging, standing 6 ft apart and avoiding gatherings of 10 people or more.
In some cities, or involving high-risk groups like the elderly, “shelter in place.”
Looking through my grief and loss specialist lenses, I remind myself and others that this situation is completely saturated in losses. We’ve lost our sense of familiarity and security, our routines, both in the present and looking into the future, and our reliance on life as we knew it.
People are on different timetables in this grieving process. Some are still in shock and denial, while others have accepted a warrior mindset; a “we’ve-got-this” mentality. They’re well on their way to finding creative ways to maintain their own health, and social, emotional, and spiritual connections.
A few of the coping tools my friends and I have discovered:
1) Online yoga, Zumba, or exercise classes
2) Regular Facetime, Zoom or phone conversations with family members
3) Sharing our gifts on-line with friends, potential clients, and strangers
4) Walks, with or without your dog
5) Decluttering home projects it’s been hard to find time for
6) Reading books that provide comfort, laughter, and inspiration
7) Watching West Wing reruns to remember a time when politics worked
8) Follow up on that eating program you started last year
9) Join a Live intention experience for the virus to be eliminated –
10) Join me for a Zoom online InterPlay class Friday, March 20th, 10:30 am eastern
(email me at sheilacollins@yahoo.com for the invitation link)
Once, as a society we get to where most people have accepted that we are all going through this tough time together like happened during World War II, the grief process becomes easier.
As the founders of the Disaster Research Center at Ohio State, Russell Dynes and Enrico Quarantelli put it “When danger, loss, and suffering become a public phenomenon all those who share in the experience are brought together in a very powerful psychological sense. Worries about the past and the future are unrealistic when judged against the realities of the moment.”
As Jon Mooallen quoted in his essay last Sunday in the New York Times from his upcoming book about the earthquake in Alaska, in a large scale disaster, “thrown together in one unrelenting present we are made to recognize in one another what we deny most vehemently about ourselves: In the end it is our vulnerability that connects us.”
What discoveries are you making to find the good opportunities in this disaster?
Love to hear about them.
Sheila
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