I’m not a poet though I’ve often wished I were one. To say profound things succinctly, to be able
to express the musicality of images, to highlight the rhythm and tone of words. And now as I’m
learning, to be able to create what J. S. Mill claimed of Wordsworth’s poetry – “medicine for the
mind.” As a grief advocate, I am always on the lookout for art tools that help us understand our grief more deeply and grieve our losses more effectively. I especially get excited when scientists and artists get together to demonstrate something that our intuition tells us is right, and that scientific processes can help explain how and why it works. A day or so ago a former social work
colleague, Colleen Shannon, came to my mind. Colleen had been a biofeedback expert, and we
had worked closely together, collaborating on publications before I left the university in the late
80s. One of our collaborations was an article titled, “The Body-Mind Connection, What Social
Workers Need to Know.” For years afterwards, Colleen and I meet monthly over lunch taking
turns picking up the check so we would always have a reason to meet again. She died of ovarian cancer in the late 90s. I wondered what made me think of her and then I came across an article about poetry and biofeedback. Pay attention here Sheila she seemed to be telling me.
The June 27, 2022 article by Marissa Grunes with videos by Steven Allardi, was titled, Feeling Stressed?
Read a poem.
The article sprung from the experience of two literary scholars, Jonathan Bate and Paula Byrne,
who while waiting in a hospital while their 5-year-old daughter was in surgery, found nothing to
read. Since they were committed to the notion that literature has the ability to heal, they decided
to put together a book of poems, “Stressed, Unstressed: Classic Poems to Ease the Mind. Before publication they connected with biofeedback researcher, Inna Khazan to see if she could help them demonstrate that reciting poetry can affect heart rate variability and synchronize a person’s breathing to lessen the stress response. Robert Frost’s poem, Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening, a poem he reported composing in a “flow state,” was used in the study. The measurements on the biofeedback machine confirmed that the person reading the poem entered a “flow” state as well.
When I think of a poem that has taught me much about grief, I remember working with a group of nuns to help then celebrate the 150th anniversary of their community’s time in America. It
became clear as we reviewed their history that their successes were made possible by the way they confronted tough challenges and grieved multiple losses throughout the generations. We looked for a way to express the gifts their grief had brought them when one sister suggested the poem, “Well of Grief “by David Whyte. Since we were proposing dancing to the poem another
sister volunteered a couple of bolts of sheer blue and turquoise fabric that she happened to have in her storage closet. Here’s the poem and some of what we dancers discovered.
The Well of Grief
As we moved with the fabric and the recitation of the poem’s varied phrases and pauses, we
began to embody its message more fully. The first lines call attention to the people who are
unwilling to grieve, who avoid going deeply into the pain of their grief.
Those who will not slip beneath
the still surface on the well of grief
turning downward through its black water
to the place we cannot breathe
Will never know the source
from which we drink
the secret water, cold and clear,
We who are willing recognize what they will never know, the source and the secrets revealed by
that turning downward.
nor find in the darkness glimmering
the small round coins
thrown by those who wished for
something else.
In taking that dive into darkness, unexpected treasures are illuminated, and we are rewarded.
