I was on an airplane a few years ago when a flight attendant made the following announcement, “We have several members of the United States Armed Forces on board today so let’s let them know how much we thank them for their service.” Most everyone on board looked around to see who she might be referring to as they applauded enthusiastically. It was an upbeat moment for all of us as giving appreciation to others lifts our spirits as well.
As I settled into my crowded coach seat and the flight took off I began to imagine – how would it be if the airlines did this ritual for members of other service professions. Our flights would routinely begin with and announcement – “We have several nurses, or teachers, or social workers on board today. Let’s give them a round of applause to show them our appreciation for their service.” I knew it would never happen, but it made me smile to think about the possibility.
Amazingly I’ve seen street demonstrations of appreciation including applause and handmade signs, flashing lights from automobiles, and songs sung from balconies thanking the heroic over-worked health care workers, during this pandemic. And what other helpers are we now noticing? The ones we’ve taken for granted. The ones that have always been there. Those people who serve us in the private service providing industries? 107.8 million people, 71 % of our workforce – have waited on us, cooked our meals, brought our drinks and remembered our food orders, drove our buses, repaired our cars, mowed our lawns, cleaned our houses, schools, and office buildings, picked up our garbage, swept our streets, and delivered our mail, packages, and newspapers. Many of these jobs have gone away for now, but many workers still continue their “taking care of us” roles, in spite of some risk to their own health.
Like my nurse mother who worked the night shift in labor and delivery – babies don’t just arrive in the hours between 9 to 5. The people who worked with her, the aides, the cleaning crew, the technicians and support staff–back then hardly any of them made a living wage. They were women and what they did was women’s work – not considered as important as the production jobs that men were more likely to do.
So here we are – with these caregivers, both women and men now, risking their lives to take care of the sick, the dying, and standing in for us with our loved ones, since we can’t be there without risking other patients and residents and ourselves. The emotional toil that it takes on them is nearly as high as the toil on those of us who can’t be there when we want to.
Nearly 30 years ago as a professor of social work I prepared social work students to go into health care settings. I saw the trouble they were having prioritizing and taking care of themselves. Their focus on their patients and dedication to the welfare of their children and family elders meant ignoring their own needs. I wrote a book, now in its second edition, Stillpoint: A Playbook for Caregivers to Find Ease, Time to Breathe, and Reclaim Joy, and that is what we wish for the helpers and caregivers. A third of the adult population is caregiving a family member, sometimes while being a professional caregiver as well. The importance of self-care for both professional and family caregivers has been catching on and now the pandemic is underlining how critical self-care is.
Showing appreciation is a big help but not sufficient. Helpers need personal protective clothing including masks, and back up, like what football players call “a deep bench.” When they become exhausted or injured, a team member needs to be there to take their turn on the scrimmage line, giving the player time to recover.
When my nurse mother of six children had visitors at our home they would often say, “Jane, I don’t know how you do it?” I wanted to say, but I never did, “I know how she does it. She has us.” Just like we honor the families of men and women serving in the armed forces, family members of the caregivers and helpers are a critical part of their loved one’s success and their ability to serve. In this situation of a pandemic, family members are at risk too for illness and death. Bringing this kind of harm to their families is an added worry and stress for front line helpers that needs to be addressed as we sew masks for friends and family, and hospitals find more protective clothing for front line staff.
One of the possible gifts to our future society from this pandemic may be an increased appreciation for those essential workers who help us to stay healthy, take care of ourselves, and save our lives when we get seriously ill. The list of professions we could honor on our plane rides, once we can take them again, will be a lot longer. “We have on board several sanitation workers, food service personnel, or first responders. Let’s show our appreciation.”
Maybe we’ll even learn to do that without having to take a plane ride.
What have you become grateful for as you take care of yourself while sheltering at home?
Sheila
I have been conducting free classes and zoom consultations to assist people in finding ways to take care of themselves and deal with the challenges of working and sheltering at home. If you are interested in having a free discovery call to see how I might be of help to you, your work team, or your family, call me at 817-706-4967 or drop me a line at
sheilakcollins@gmail.comYou can join me tomorrow for my weekly online InterPlay class at
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